PLease Help! Very complicated situation- divorce?

well i know where you are coming from. my parents are the same way, i am grown now married with kids of my own, my kids have very limited contact with them, my son who will be 3 in a few days doesn't even know them, now the way i see it, you can stay with your mom, just keep telling yourself that you are a good person, do not ever let her make you hate yourself, that way you can still pursue your dream with the horses, i don't think it would be a good idea to stay with your dad, i know how dads are when they are drunk you shouldn't have to be around that, if you stay with your mom just remember its only 2 years and you can leave and never go back. but i do know that you have to find an adult to talk to tell them what is going on at home, maybe the people that keep your horse, who knows maybe you can stay with them, i would also talk to your doctor about your mom, maybe he can help, but remember that if you do talk to the doctor you are at risk of child services coming in, but if your mom needs help she can get it, if she has a mental problem she doesn't need to take you to the funny house with her. but just remember its only 2 years. i know that sounds like a long time now but keep busy and it'll go by fast