I fell into a cactus how do i help the pain of the stickers?

Start drinking tequila heavily. LOL Go to a drug store for some topical ointment, ask the pharmacist for something good. Make sure you do not get an infection, if so, see a doctor. If not, just get the ointment and time will take care of the rest. Tequila or some other alcohol may help but some of that PM aspirin may be better as a sleep aid and pain reliever. Good luck.